About the Fathers Help Network
Let me first open by saying THANK YOU for visiting our website! You were most likely referred to our site by another father who is battling with the ex for custody and visitation rights.
Wondering what we do? Fathers Help Network is just that-- A network of “Fathers Helping Fathers” through tough times. It’s a kind of fraternity if you will. The design is simple…to be support for one another. You can scour the Internet and find “fathers rights” sites that all seem to be selling something or is an inlet to an attorney firm looking to suck you in when you are most vulnerable. I don’t disagree that you need an attorney, however, separation is a truly emotional time, and when you have your children involved you can increase that emotion by 200% or more! This is not the time someone should be selling you something that “will win you custody” or “what you need to know about your case” books. There is NO MAGIC BOOK or ADVICE that will ensure you win in court! It does not happen.
The best advice you can get is simple:
Get an attorney as soon as possible. See our resources tab for tips on how to get a good attorney who will stick up for your rights and your kid(s) rights.
Talk to others who are going through it, do this for 2 reasons. First to gain insight as to what you are about to go through, and second for support from one another.
Don’t blame yourself! Relationships take 2 people- you are both at fault. Most men go through the “what did I do wrong” phase when they should not be! They should be thinking about what to do next.
Protect yourself! Your ex will try to pull everything to keep you in the eyes of others as “the bad guy” and you need to watch what you do. Generally it is not unusual to see things come out that are either untrue or really exaggerated in the eyes of the ex. It is not uncommon for an ex to have you arrested or even thrown in jail for spousal abuse! You may not have ever laid a finger on them, but remember it is emotional for them too and they are looking for excuses as to why you are “the bad guy.”
We are a 501(c)(3) organization. What that means is we are a NON PROFIT CORPORATION. What does that mean to you? Simple- we work for you! All the money we make in profits must be spent back on the general public- YOU! When we have a surplus we will generally take that money and spend it wisely on items and adventures for you and your children (more below). We will also give to other local charities such as Children’s Hospitals and Burn Centers, along with local “kid friendly” places such as neighborhood YMCAs and schools.
Lets talk about the site you are on now:
Forum. Fathers Help Network is there to help by having an online forum where dads can talk to each other and put important advice and findings from their own cases online where others can see them and learn from them.
Resources. We also have a resources tab where you can get information on how to find an attorney, links to good quality monitors (should you need one) who understand that the dad is not always the bad guy and know that there are two sides to every situation (they have been personally screened by the Director of Fathers Help Network). We will also have tips and tricks to read about and things change on this tab often- so check it out often.
Links to Events. This is one of the most important sections of our site. This will entail all the events coming up where dads can get together face to face and talk, build friendships and support one another through the tough times. We will also have events where dads can bring there children with them for the weekend or the day at special discounted rates and fun! Examples, camping trips, Disneyland Trips, going to a military base to see planes, submarines, ships… all the fun stuff kids LOVE to do and Dads love to play with too! We usually are able to get great discounts that we will always pass along to the dads to do these events… and don’t worry, if you can’t afford it- we will be able to work that out too so you can bring your children along and enjoy yourself! We have people who donate to our organization for just that reason.
Marketplace. This is a section that will link you to our partners who have resources for sale on father’s rights. Examples will be books published and for sale by National booksellers such as Barns and Noble and Boarders. We will not typically sell books by independent people unless there is REAL value associated with the book. We get hundreds of books a year in by “independent publishers” and we will determine what gets put on the Marketplace link based on their findings and what the overall message is.
If there is a must have book- generally we will try to get enough copies donated to pass out to our subscribers at no cost to them.
Contact. This tab tells you how to get in touch with us. If you want to speak to the founder himself, you can do that too! Yes- he will take your call! If he is busy, leave him a message and he will get back to you within 24 hours on average. You can also e-mail him or any of the other members on the board of directors through this tab.
By the time you get to this tab, you are probably wondering how this site got started…
Very simply put, I am a dad who felt like I was loosing control of my child in a very bitter divorce battle which is still going almost a year later. I very badly needed support myself- through the help of a therapist on a weekly basis, my family, co-workers, and most importantly other DADS who helped me understand that I was NOT the only person going through what I was going through! This is what made me realize I can help! I wanted to start something that is hard to come by- a true fathers rights group that is not there to sell, but there as a fraternity to other dads to talk to one another and be support for each other.
Who am I? I'm a dad who had his family taken away from him suddenly one night and thought I was never going to get to see my Daughter again! What happened? I am still trying to figure that out… I went through the phase of it must be my fault to realizing there were many factors involved that were way out of my control. I married a women who was from a completely different ethnic background and had a very strange family arrangement where she came from. My wife whom I knew for years was very unethical and was in the habit of lies. The more I dug the more lies I found. There were many very troubling things I was finding out and when I got to close and confronted her about them- next thing I knew, she was gone! And she took the love of my life with her, my Daughter who was only 5 months old! I was devastated- I hired an attorney right away and started my battle with the court system, the ex, and the attorneys themselves (which feels like a battle you are paying for)… It's hard to believe you have control, but you have to believe in your attorney.
If it were not for the other dad’s I spoke to who were going through the same things as I was I would have not believed it myself. The things that came out and the lies that were told to the court, police, and mutual people who were stunned by it all! I found that all dads were going through similar things- maybe not so bad, but similar none the less.
I want to help. I am a helper by nature. I started this organization for that purpose. My long term goal is to be the place where dads turn for help and networking across the nation! We have to start somewhere, so I have picked Southern California to be my target marketplace right now- however we have been getting people to check out our website from as far away as Ohio, Chicago, and Georgia! We are still in the starting phase of our organization so check back often.
Remember this site is here for you, the Fathers. If you think we should have something on the site that we don’t have, or just as important, think we should take something down, let me know.
I look forward to networking with you and all the other dads going through what we are all going through!